Kitty's Laments

Story of Evil — Vocaloid

fi0naway — Sat, 04 Jun 2011 06:41:20 +0000

You are my princess
I am only your servant
We are twins that destiny has played a cruel jest on
Even if the whole world turns against you
I’ll become the only evil that is on your side

Our fates were decided on the day we came
Bells of the church tolling their blessings the same
Our elders were selfish for some reasons
Thus we grew apart with the passing seasons

If every creature alive hates you
I’ll be there waiting, always true
So please keep smiling like you always do
None that keeps you laughing as myself, had I knew!

I came to visit a beautiful country
There, a girl of green is what I happened to see
She was kind with a bright smile and grace
Her image from my mind I could not efface
However if my princess wishes her gone
This order will not be something long drawn
Only one question do I have of this
Why, for the first time, are my tears not of bliss?

You are my princess
I am only your servant
We are twins that destiny has forced suffering on
“Today brioche will be served with your tea”
The only gesture you had was a coy laugh

Soon the people may come to punish us
While we deserve it, you have no need to fuss
I will, to the end, fight who they send
“Please exchange our clothing, to have this war mend”
“As long as you wear this, come what will”
“No one will notice, and you they cannot kill”
“I ask you to not worry about me”
“As I said, we are twins, there’s no difference to see!”

I am the princess
You became a criminal
We are twins that destiny chooses to inflict pain
If all the world believes that you are evil
Then I am evil as well, because I share your blood

There was a country with an “evil” rule
So they thought, and I say that they comprise a fool
The only person who had any say
Was my cute sister who remains free this day
If every creature alive hates you
I’ll be there waiting, always true
So please keep smiling like you always do
None that keeps you laughing as myself, had I knew!

You are my princess
I am only your servant
We are twins that destiny has played a cruel jest on
Even if the whole world turns against you
I’ll become the only evil that is on your side

If we are ever reborn I want you to know
That I would like to be able to be with you again

That Which Marks Us Human

fi0naway — Sat, 19 Feb 2011 01:47:41 +0000

Sometimes, I’d like to just grab all the carefree, unburdened souls in the world by the collar and dump some pain, anguish, sorrow down their throats.

It’s one thing to be blissfully unaware. It’s another to be blatantly ignorant. There are people suffering out there for whatever reason EVERY SINGLE SECOND OF THE DAY, and all you’re concerned about is your own sad little existence? You are ONE soul in a world of six billion, what exactly makes you special? It’s this concept of individuality, of “I’m better than everyone else” that’s turning society into a heartless mass of selfish pigs. GROW UP. AND LEARN TO SYPHATHIZE.

I know what it’s like to be down-on-your-luck, and scorned by all those around you. This is why when I see a streetperson, I do not shirk away. I walk up to them and I empty my change purse into their cups.

My grandmother told me I had “too much heart” when I was younger. This may because I follow the Buddhist principles at heart, or maybe I’m just reluctant to add more apathy to world that needs no more.

Crepuscule

fi0naway — Wed, 16 Feb 2011 19:33:34 +0000

The reason I may never survive a relationship:

I am well aware of the human capacity for evil, and for that reason, fundamentally distrustful and fearful of strangers.

I am rather easy to maim, being diminutive of stature and timid by nature. I have been hurt in the past, badly, by people whom I trusted my life with, destroying all my previous notions of morality.

This does not mean that I will not lash out when provoked. We are all animals; our primal instinct is to protect ourselves.

A few weeks ago, I had recurring dreams of throwing myself against a door, hearing footsteps draw closer and closer, feel the door fly open and scrambling for cover when there is none to be found……

Another dream — the night is cold, impenetrable, and so are the innumerable stars above. I walk onwards with no destination, the air slashing open my bare skin. The tears running down my face are frozen before they hit the ground. I am screaming out into the dark but I don’t hear a sound, save for the howling of the wind.

If only they stayed dreams.

Trainwreck Towns

fi0naway — Sat, 12 Feb 2011 09:22:18 +0000

“His first wive was addicted to painkillers. One day she took too many and never woke up. His second wive treated her stepson like crap.”

Why, oh why do you always manage to find the trainwrecks? Or is it the other way around?

Is the first part supposed to make me feel sorry for this guy?

Well, screw you, it worked.

I am deathly afraid of being asked about my family. Especially the number of people in it. I always get so confused and end up saying something ridiculous when it’s really just two halves that will never be whole again.

The saddest part about the whole thing is as hard as I try to make it work, I know I’ll grow tired and disillusioned eventually and move away from them altogether.

One day, I’d like to feel safe and whole again. Watch a movie like Manic or read a book like The Awakening without perceiving ghosts everywhere.

Smile like I mean it.

One day.

The Ecstacy of Young Werther

fi0naway — Thu, 27 Jan 2011 06:04:05 +0000

Midnight transit in Van. Phantasmagoric soap operas.

“I had a mango smoothie. Luxurious.” – Curly-haired Adonais on the 99

Girls in pastel trenches, 3-inch skirts and 5-inch heels. Boys with wandering eyes and hands.

A boy tossed out his stomach’s contents on the Canada Line back. I wanted so much to go up to him and ask if he’s doing okay. Instead, I closed my eyes, cranked up my iPod and got off at the furthest door possible.

Wandering back from RC. Belting out Grenade, flipping off cars and reciting lovelorn ditties to myself.

I love Friday nights. =)

Rainin’ Men

fi0naway — Mon, 17 Jan 2011 08:23:15 +0000

Pouring. Yet again. Curled up and watched the first droplets dash themselves fervently against the glass. Further. Further.

The lights are low. The locks are broken. Father’s got a battered golf club beside his pillow and in his car. And I, I tap my fingers across the keyboard, humming melancholy tunes to myself, thinking of your wistful azure eyes.

Clock ticking. Rain whispering. Thoughts racing. Can’t hear much else.

Je M’en Fous

fi0naway — Fri, 07 Jan 2011 05:54:55 +0000

So…

You think you can stone me and spit in my eye ?

You think you can dismantle me and leave me to cry?

Well, baby, I guess mistakes happen.

Lesson well-deserved.

MMXI

fi0naway — Sat, 01 Jan 2011 20:50:40 +0000

1. Stop procrastinating

2. Keep all promises/commitments made. You said it, you stick it out.

3. Snatch up every single opportunity. If there isn’t any, make some =)

Happy ’11

Absence

fi0naway — Sat, 01 Jan 2011 20:48:42 +0000

Several attempts to sum up 2010 later, this was all I could come up with.

January – Anxiety

February – Olympics

March – Euphoria

April – Sedation

May – Comatose

June – Anticlimax

July – Emergence

August – Anticipation

September – Resurrection

October – Exhilaration

November – Bewilderment

December – Contemplation

Except A Little Fish…

fi0naway — Sun, 26 Dec 2010 10:06:52 +0000

The first rule of making anal smalltalk with T. is you do not ask about family

The second rule of making anal smalltalk with T. is you DO NOT ask about family

The third and last rule of making anal smalltalk with T. is if the thought ever crosses your mind, she KNOWS, and is picturing your heart and brains as a dartboard laden with carving knifes in her head, never mind the anemic smile and mechanical responses. If you have any sense, BACK THE FUCK OFF.

Now perhaps you’ll understand why she prefers books to humans, 98.76% of the time.